![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
10 Day Trip to Washington, DC for LeadAmerica
Here is my journey, mostly written on graphpaper as it happened.
It is long. If you want to skip to the good stuff, skip down to the last two days of the trip - the 23rd through today. Seriously, read the last two days. It really had a profound influence on the way I approach life.
July 16, 2004
Morning
Bah, crappy pen. It took me forever again to fall asleep last night. I woke up at 2:30. Surprisingly, my early morning mental vocabulary is limited to the eff word. Went to Chad’s around 3:30 and then we left. His parents drove us two hours to an airport. Why the hell does the sun come up at 5 in the morning? I don’t know but it was cool how the blackness faded into color. We watched about 1/3 of “My Fellow Americans” on his laptop. We got to the airport, checked in, had breakfast, and said goodbye to his parents. Our plane’s pretty small. One aisle, 2 seats on each side. We have about an hour and fifteen minutes left. Chad and I are right above the wing. It’s really cool to see clouds out the window. Right now we’re over Lake Michigan. I like being in the air but I hate taking off. I hate the noises and the feeling in my stomach and unless I turn the little air thing on I feel like I’m suffocating. Anyway. I’m going to see if I can sleep.
1:43 pm (now on DC time)
So Chad and I finished our flight. I discovered he’s claustrophobic and we both get restless. It was cool seeing the Capitol and the Washington Monument from the air. Once we landed there were people from LeadAmerica there to meet us. We picked up some more students and about 8 of us got on a bus. We’re staying at Gallaudet University. I’d never heard of it before, but it’s a college for the deaf. Apparently it’s very…high up – we were told up there with Oxford and Harvard. It’s very prestigious with accommodations for deaf people, obviously. It’s also fairly close to Capitol Hill. On the way to the university, we saw Tim Russert from Meet the Press on the street. That was pretty cool. We got here and were given binders and keys and nametags. I put my stuff upstairs and had pizza and soda in the lobby. So far today seems poorly organized but I’ll hold off judging ‘til the end. Chad and I are meeting at 3 to walk around. There’s nothing planned until after dinner, which is at 6. So I think I’ll go decide what to wear tonight right now. I’m staying on top of keeping track! I’ll go brush my teeth to feel better (I’m like OCD when it comes to brushing my teeth, just as an FYI). If I can get over leaving everyone, college won’t be so bad. I love having my own space. Yay.
4:28 pm
I keep wanting to write. I think it’s ‘cause I’m so bored. Haven’t found internet anywhere yet, L I’m really tired but I don’t want to make my roommate uncomfortable by going to sleep. She seems nice. Bah. I called Mom. I really wish I could go to sleep or go online. Or just go to dinner and get this over with. I really want to go to sleep. Taking a shower will be interesting. I hate communal bathrooms. Alright. Well I think I will try to sleep. Teh end.
10:00 pm
Let’s see, I laid in bed but didn’t sleep until 5:45 when I went with my roommate and had dinner with Chad. Ate salad and a banana and went to an auditorium, successfully blistering my heels in the process. We listened to a pointless lecture on rules for literally an hour and I felt like the guy was treating us like we were 12. Then we got in our congressional committees. The more I’m in this city, aside from this conference…the more I feel like it’s my place, even if I’m just being around people with the same passion. Maybe my future really does lie in politics. I think I could do it. But how? I don’t know. I hope this week gets cooler, I hope my RA comes and checks on us soon, and I hope I sleep well. I’ve been up for 20 hours. If I fall asleep at 10:30 then I get 8 hours of sleep until 6:30. Woot.
July 17, 2004
7:27 am
I’ve just showered. My roommate wanted the air off last night, so now it’s pretty warm but oh well. My blisters hurt horribly in the shower so I tried to stand so the water wouldn’t touch them. At the moment I’m pretty hungry. I’m figuring out what to bring with me today and just waiting for 8:00 to come. And also, it might be too early to say this but I feel like amongst all these people, I’m different. It’s probably mostly because I’m at least a year older, though. I don’t know everyone well enough. Well anyway I’m going to figure out what to bring and finish getting ready.
10:16 pm
This is going to be a longass week. Went to breakfast with roomie, Chad, his roommate, and two other guys. Then we had Mr. Hook speak to us, who actually works in the West Wing. He’s like, Josh Lyman on the show West Wing. Really cool. He talked about how to get into politics, work your way up, etc. I liked him a lot.
After that….you know I’m looking at the schedule and I don’t even remember the freaking lecture. But after that lecture we had a lecture about Parliamentary procedure. So damn boring, and as Chad said, you could pick up on it after about 5 minutes of C-SPAN (by the way, just about everyone there was a huge news/C-SPAN buff….it was awesome). Then lunch. Then a discussion on global political stuff. It was all stuff I knew already, but it was still interesting conversation. Then we had a stupid leadership activity outside. Chad and I led each other around in blindfolds. Other stupid things. Then we met in our congressional committees and selected candidates for leadership positions in our mock Senate such as the clerk and President Pro-Tempore. We then had a pointless lecture about deaf people. I mean no disrespect to deaf people, but seriously the information was like about how the college was founded and deaf culture in general. Useless to us, and they could have just said, “If you’re disrespectful, you get kicked out. THE END.” Then we had a “leadership” activity which was taking a personality test. I’m an owl. Apparently the cautious, “genius-prone,” etc. Ridiculous. So basically I just liked Hook and the global stuff. I hate the way the Team Leaders (TLs) talk to us. They keep saying BE QUIET, OMG, RESPECT!! Give me a break, not to be arrogant, but getting invited to this was a huge honor. I was treated with more respect on mission trips.
There’s no way for this not so sound pompous but this is all stuff I know from AP Gov and History. On the positive side, I definitely feel like if I could study hard, I could work in this city. A policy advisor sounds cool. I don’t know about law school. Speech writing sounds cool. Research on jobs is in order. So in short, it overall sucks so far but I’ll try really hard not to judge it ‘til we’re done. Anyway the Smithsonian and National Archives are tomorrow so I think walking around there with Chad will be fun. I think a big thing I miss from home is talking to people online before bed. And also…graphpaper’s fine but I need to type. Also Chad and I are disgruntled at no internet access, no papers, no TV news. It’s a college but it’s like they’re oblivious to the ouside world or something.
July 18, 2004
4:28 pm
I woke up feeling very well-rested this morning. Ate breakfast with Chad. Then we met as a whole Congress for basically no reason. They told us we could leave our binders before our excursion, but hurry the hell up and OMG STOP TALKING. Jeez. We got on the buses and drove to the Smithsonian. Unfortunately, we were divided by party (Federalists and Nationalists – they stood for absolutely nothing) and Chad’s in the other party. I still found some cool people to walk around with, though. We went to the Natural History Museum first. Amazing fossils from 3500 million years ago, dinosaurs and cool mammals I’ve never seen before. Then were lots of cultural things of people from different continents. It was cool to think about how ancient the Earth is, but humanity came and built up what we have today in so little time. Then the National Archives, which was freaking awesome. I saw the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, Marbury v. Madison, the Articles of Confederation, and other cool original documents. The DoI was really faded – a lot more than I thought it was. The American History Museum wasn’t all I thought it would be, but it was still cool. I bought a book of Inaugural speeches from Cleveland through Bush and presents for Mom, Dad, Julie, and Kevin. I need a shower, news, and internet. Can’t get a hold of Chad. I’m realizing how a lot of people here are really liberal and hate Bush’s soul. Makes me realize I’m really not that liberal – I think he’s a good guy, I just disagree with some things. Anyway I better walk to our caucus. :P
10:17 pm
At 5 we had our caucus and decided on our candidates and then had dinner. Then the whole Congress got together and voted. Everyone in a position of power is from my committee, so that was cool (I didn’t run). After that we got in our committees. We split into thirds, and my third was the Arts and Humanities. We don’t meet as a whole Senate until the last day, so that sucks. Lectures are worthless and a lot are given by people not much older than I am. Well I’m off to read inaugural addresses. This sucks but I’m trying to meet cool people – and I am.
July 19, 2004
12:03 pm
Breakfast was silent without Chad. First morning lecture was more on global politics – we talked about how China is going to be the next economic superpower. Irrelevant to the Congress, but still interesting. Then we had a stupid lecture on problem-solving – THINK AND THEN ACT/SPEAK/WHATEVER. Wow, genius point. But I guess there are a lot of politicians who don’t do that (like Cheney dropping the F-bomb and Howard Dean screaming).
6:58 pm
After that I had lunch with Chad. Then we got “briefed” for our excursion (for every field trip we get a briefing). Sat around for half an hour waiting for the buses. Finally they came and we went to Arlington National Cemetary. It was really hot and we were walking fast (tight schedule). JFK’s tomb was nice, I really liked the eternal flame. The view was awesome. I know it might be silly but I almost felt like crying. Then we went to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and watched the changing of the guards. There were so many tombstones in that cemetery….it’s staggering to think of all the people who have given their lives for this country. It made me proud. I really liked the amphitheater there, too. Greek architecture is cool. We saw the Iwo Jima Memorial, which was a statute of the soldiers in WWII putting up the flag on top of a hill. Supposedly there are extra hands that represent God’s hands. Cool stuff. Also, I saw that actual flag at the Smithsonian – cool stuff. Then we went to Union Station. Very fast eating, and purchasing of newspapers and postcards. I want a shower, and we have to get up early tomorrow morning!
July 20, 2004
9:39 am
Today was an early morning. Last night the whores in the next room wouldn’t shut the hell up. I pounded on the wall with my fist and eventually fell asleep. In our committee meeting, I got everyone to support a bill to nationalize education but then our TL called us communists and shot us down. Instead we decided to make a bill to give a grant to schools to fund fine arts programs – drama, music, art. A lot of states have deficits and the first programs to be cut are school fine arts programs.
Anyway this morning I woke up, ate, and rode a bus to the White House. Our names were already on a list and apparently they did background checks on us. We only got to see the East Wing – cool but I’d obviously rather see the West Wing. Still, awesome. We couldn’t bring cameras, though. On our walk afterwards around the Ellipse, Chad and I were in front of people arguing. I actually miss my classmates back home. There are so many stupid people who think they know everything because they read something on the internet. It’s fine to be stupid – just don’t act like know-it-all jackass. Anyway we’re back now. My back hurts but I think I’ll read the paper now.
10:12 pm
Let’s see, after that we had a speaker who didn’t actually speak. She had us have a death penalty “debate.” But really we walked around the room and argued. I didn’t bother arguing because everyone was just screaming at each other. Ate lunch, had a stupid lecture on “what is a bill.” Seriously, WTF? We got briefed on the Capitol Hill trip, which sounds like it will be cool – there’s no way in hell Chad and I will be separated and we do whatever we want for about 6 hours. After that we had a committee meeting in which we actually wrote our bill. Dinner, then forced to either watch a movie or played games. WE played games and went outside – discussed politics – mostly Chad and Gina, who’s an awesome girl from California. One of many cool friends I made, but the ones I hung out with the most were Gina, Sarah, and Dustin. It seems like my political opinions change more every day. Maybe I don’t know what I believe or maybe people calling me a flaming liberal really was a big mistake. This trip has invoked a deep sense of pride in my country, though. Anyway I then helped my TL write cards with everyone’s congressional appointments on them. Today was good, if only to talk politics at the end. Maybe it’s ‘cause I found friends. Anyway I’m done now.
July 21, 2004
4:45 pm
So today – breakfast and then we boarded the house and went to Capitol Hill. We had an appointment with Feingold at 10. As we (me, Chad, and a girl from somewhere else in Wisconsin) were walking to the Senate office building, there was an evacuation. We later learned it was a fire alarm for some…thing. Anyway then we went to Feingold’s office. We just met with a staffer, but he was still a cool guy to talk to. I like Russ Feingold, he’s a good guy. Campaign finance reform, the only guy to vote against the Patriot Act (which I support 95% of, by the way – there are just some things that go too far), and he went to UW Madison (well, as well as Oxford, but you know….). After that Chad and I went to the House of Representatives Chambers and went to the gallery. We watched voting on a couple of issues and it was cool to see everyone walking around. It would have been cooler to see the Senate because we would have recognized more people, but it would’ve taken too long. After that we ate lunch in one of the offices and then we saw our Representative, who was really cool. We talked about how campaigning has gotten so personal, and politics shouldn’t be like that. You can disagree and still have dignity, yo. Partisanship is getting more and more stupid. After that we walked in front of the Supreme Court and the Library of Congress, but didn’t have enough time to go inside – just took pictures. It took forever to walk everywhere on Capitol Hill because there was a lot of construction. My feet hurt like a mother. I don’t want to take a shower ‘cause I don’t have clothes to waste. This program has made me realize how much I’m going to miss everyone when I go to college. It’s also made me realize how awesome the internet is – so easy to communicate with people. Anyway, no more for now.
10:18 pm
So I spent my free time cleaning my room, remaking my bed, and organizing everything. It makes me excited ‘cause I’m helping myself get ready to go home. I brought everything in one backpack and one suitcase, so go me! After dinner, Chad and I spent our free time mostly just talking. Then in our subcommittees – I’m growing to like them a lot. We finished our bill and presented it to the rest of our committee – they liked it. After that, I showered and here I am. At least I’m learning I can survive college life. Lack of Nazi regimes and being able to connect with my friends online would be preferable, though. I’m really lucky I have Chad, though. But I don’t think I’ll have a problem making friends.
July 22, 2004
10:16 pm
Breakfast, then a lobbyist talked to us. What I got out of it is that your Congressional (well, any for that matter) representatives don't know how to represent you unless you tell them. Also, VOTE. It doesn't matter for who - just vote. People died so you can do it and what, you're too lazy? Disgusting. VOTE. After that, another stupid "leadership" thing where we decided what to bring if we were on a deserted island. :P Lunch, then committee meetings in which we debated each others' bills. Dinner and then we boarded the buses to go see Memorials. The World War II Memorial was beautiful - the fountains and the magnitude were awesome. 2 girls were complaining about the rain and I was disgusted. You don't complain at a war memorial, whores. Get some dignity. My uncles brother-in-law fought at D-Day and he was shot twice. The Vietnam Memorial was mostly covered because they were fixing the lights or something, but it was still moving - especially to see metal bracelets left by soldiers next to the wall. My cousin-in-law fought in that war. The Korean Memorial was also cool - I'd already seen it, but still moving. My uncle fought in that war. After that was the Lincoln Memorial, which was frigging awesome. So massive. Jefferson owned, too. I love Jefferson. THe power of words that all of these men had was so amazing. It makes me want to cry. The use of words and oratory skills to describe humanity..it makes me want to cry. Anyway. On the walk to the FDR Memorial, I started feeling really..creeped out, especially as soon as I entered the FDR Memorial. Then I realized it was because I had been there before, on the mission trip I took right after my freshman year. I remember sitting by the water, talking about social justice. It was the first time I ever felt really passionately about anything in my life. I think about how far I've come in the last four years...and it is a long way. I'm who I want to be. Now I just want to learn more. More news, college, more reading. God has a purpose for me and I have yet to figure it out. But I'd like to be ready for when I do.
Looking at the monuments, I felt...fierce. The desire to say things like that - words that inspire people to want to be better - welled up inside. I feel very patriotic tonight.
July 23, 2004
10:10 pm
Breakfast and then committee meetings. We just practiced the speeches for patroning bills. Then we had a caucus, in which we passed all the bills after debating them. I voted based on my beliefs. Then lunch, then "alumni association" which is basically getting us to try to get a bunch more people to go to LeadAmerica - someone's making a buttload of money off the program. Then we had a blind guest speaker, who I guess was alright. Then we had our committee meetings. We were talking as a committee about why some of us didn't like their bill on hitting people harder for hiring illegal immigrants. The conversation spiraled to one about poverty and the like. It turned into this huge debate. And some guys were saying, "Well if I were homeless, I'd just get a job" and things like that. And....well, I completely flipped out. I think the reason in high school that I got a label as being a "flaming liberal" is because of my feelings regarding the poor. I don't care who the hell you are - you had better have respect and every person on the face of this earth have the dignity they deserve for simply being human. You cannot condemn others for situations that you have never been in. So, yeah. I laid the smack down. Soon after, everyone got quiet because we realized how mad we were. Then, or TL told us about her own background, and challenged us that if we could ever, ever help anyone - inspire anyone - help anyone in any way - DO IT. And after that, I got really quiet and I could feel myself spiraling down.
In four years, what has changed? I first encountered poverty 4 years ago. What has changed? All that I have changed is myself. There was one week of service in Milwaukee and that is it. I feel so sick. So disgusted with myself. What have I done to make the world better? I guess...that I can't make anything else better until I'm better. There's just...so much pain and suffering in this world. And I'm doing nothing to change it. I've been blessed with so much. And I haven't the slightest idea how to take everything that is me and do everything in my power to make the world better. Who do I ask? What can I do?
I've been so self-righteous lately. I'm so selfish. I'm so disgusting. And I don't know what to do next.
Then we had a "social." We played Monopoly, which was fun.
July 24, 2004
10:59 pm
On the last day, surrounding meals, we had one last committee, caucus, and then met as an entire Senate and debated a total of 12 bills. If you want to know what the bills were on, feel free to ask. Just know our education bill passed, as did two unconstitutional bills proposed by Chad's party. It was long, but fun. After that our committee met one last time....I'm really going to miss the friends I made, and our TL. Our TL was so....inspiring. I can only hope she knows how much she helped influence my life. The friends I made were really awesome people, and I hope I stay in touch with them. I have Gina's and Sarah's s/ns, and they gave us a directory of everyone's address/email/whatever so hopefully I will. Anyway, then we had a speaker. And this speaker probably influenced me....more than most people ever have. The following is the speech, rewritten by me based on notes that I took.
He told us that we are among the most privileged young people in all of human history. He told us that the philosopher Heidegger said that "We commit greater atrocities in our daily lives than the greatest atrocities against which we protest." Heidegger also said that only a god can save us now. There's no point in appealing to privileged youth - they're inconsiderate, impatient, and you can't ask them to change this world. Why not? Because we are the ones who commit the atrocities - we own so much material possessions that it's disgusting. Count your CDs, movies, TVs, cars, clothing, etc. Next, look at the way you treat your parents. The people who have loved you since birth - provided for you, held you, given you money, tried their best to protect you, and were hurt by you when you push them away because of your own selfishness. These are atrocities. When we treat people with unkind words for no reason other than thoughtlessness, these are atrocities. And if we cannot even rise up and be loving to the people we interact with daily, then how are we supposed to save our fellow man? How are we supposed to rise up and save those in need?
The world is a dangerous place not because of a lack of intelligence or skill or ideas. The problem is that groups constantly fail to appreciate other groups. We refuse to understand each other's burdens.
Our haircuts are the yearly salaries of some people. 250 million Indians live on less than 5 cents a day.
Patience, understanding, and gratitude need to become a part of our every-day lives. You must never pity yourself. There are people all over the world who work harder every day than you will work in your entire life, and they will never, ever have as much as you have now. What is our response? Is it guilt? Is it that the UN should do something? The government? Or, will we change the way in which we conduct ourselves? Turn your eyes to your own life. And make the right judgment. We are the most privileged people. And we must be the ones to change this world. A leader must not live by what other people will tolerate. A leader must rise to his or her own highest standard - beyond what people will simply tolerate and we must excel. You must excel so much that you put others in the position that they can see what you want them to see - the real person you are.
Heidegger says only a god can save us now. Once you find your confidence, give your confidence to others. Lift them up. Tell people what they mean to you. When we have that - when we do not commit atrocities in our daily lives - then we will change this world.
So I feel inspired now. To make this world better as I can. I still don't know what I'm going to do with my life. And contrary to what I wrote last night, the last four years have not been a waste. I have lifted people up. And I vow to do it more. I will help bring about change in this world and let it begin in me - my family, my friends, my sphere and let my sphere grow and grow and grow.
Today
So, here I am. Saying goodbye to everyone was hard - but I didn't cry. Woke up early, flew and met Chad's parents and Kristy, and then drove to hours home. And here I am. There are so many people I missed while I was gone....my family and my friends. I love so many people, and I am so blessed to have so much love in my life. I'm deeply....motivated to be the best I can be.
But still disheartened because I still haven't the slightest idea wtf that is. But like I said before....I just know I want to use everything that is me to do everything I can to make this world better. So, in a complete 180 turn of self-respect in the space of 24 hours, that is the end of my trip. I'm home, whores.
It is long. If you want to skip to the good stuff, skip down to the last two days of the trip - the 23rd through today. Seriously, read the last two days. It really had a profound influence on the way I approach life.
July 16, 2004
Morning
Bah, crappy pen. It took me forever again to fall asleep last night. I woke up at 2:30. Surprisingly, my early morning mental vocabulary is limited to the eff word. Went to Chad’s around 3:30 and then we left. His parents drove us two hours to an airport. Why the hell does the sun come up at 5 in the morning? I don’t know but it was cool how the blackness faded into color. We watched about 1/3 of “My Fellow Americans” on his laptop. We got to the airport, checked in, had breakfast, and said goodbye to his parents. Our plane’s pretty small. One aisle, 2 seats on each side. We have about an hour and fifteen minutes left. Chad and I are right above the wing. It’s really cool to see clouds out the window. Right now we’re over Lake Michigan. I like being in the air but I hate taking off. I hate the noises and the feeling in my stomach and unless I turn the little air thing on I feel like I’m suffocating. Anyway. I’m going to see if I can sleep.
1:43 pm (now on DC time)
So Chad and I finished our flight. I discovered he’s claustrophobic and we both get restless. It was cool seeing the Capitol and the Washington Monument from the air. Once we landed there were people from LeadAmerica there to meet us. We picked up some more students and about 8 of us got on a bus. We’re staying at Gallaudet University. I’d never heard of it before, but it’s a college for the deaf. Apparently it’s very…high up – we were told up there with Oxford and Harvard. It’s very prestigious with accommodations for deaf people, obviously. It’s also fairly close to Capitol Hill. On the way to the university, we saw Tim Russert from Meet the Press on the street. That was pretty cool. We got here and were given binders and keys and nametags. I put my stuff upstairs and had pizza and soda in the lobby. So far today seems poorly organized but I’ll hold off judging ‘til the end. Chad and I are meeting at 3 to walk around. There’s nothing planned until after dinner, which is at 6. So I think I’ll go decide what to wear tonight right now. I’m staying on top of keeping track! I’ll go brush my teeth to feel better (I’m like OCD when it comes to brushing my teeth, just as an FYI). If I can get over leaving everyone, college won’t be so bad. I love having my own space. Yay.
4:28 pm
I keep wanting to write. I think it’s ‘cause I’m so bored. Haven’t found internet anywhere yet, L I’m really tired but I don’t want to make my roommate uncomfortable by going to sleep. She seems nice. Bah. I called Mom. I really wish I could go to sleep or go online. Or just go to dinner and get this over with. I really want to go to sleep. Taking a shower will be interesting. I hate communal bathrooms. Alright. Well I think I will try to sleep. Teh end.
10:00 pm
Let’s see, I laid in bed but didn’t sleep until 5:45 when I went with my roommate and had dinner with Chad. Ate salad and a banana and went to an auditorium, successfully blistering my heels in the process. We listened to a pointless lecture on rules for literally an hour and I felt like the guy was treating us like we were 12. Then we got in our congressional committees. The more I’m in this city, aside from this conference…the more I feel like it’s my place, even if I’m just being around people with the same passion. Maybe my future really does lie in politics. I think I could do it. But how? I don’t know. I hope this week gets cooler, I hope my RA comes and checks on us soon, and I hope I sleep well. I’ve been up for 20 hours. If I fall asleep at 10:30 then I get 8 hours of sleep until 6:30. Woot.
July 17, 2004
7:27 am
I’ve just showered. My roommate wanted the air off last night, so now it’s pretty warm but oh well. My blisters hurt horribly in the shower so I tried to stand so the water wouldn’t touch them. At the moment I’m pretty hungry. I’m figuring out what to bring with me today and just waiting for 8:00 to come. And also, it might be too early to say this but I feel like amongst all these people, I’m different. It’s probably mostly because I’m at least a year older, though. I don’t know everyone well enough. Well anyway I’m going to figure out what to bring and finish getting ready.
10:16 pm
This is going to be a longass week. Went to breakfast with roomie, Chad, his roommate, and two other guys. Then we had Mr. Hook speak to us, who actually works in the West Wing. He’s like, Josh Lyman on the show West Wing. Really cool. He talked about how to get into politics, work your way up, etc. I liked him a lot.
After that….you know I’m looking at the schedule and I don’t even remember the freaking lecture. But after that lecture we had a lecture about Parliamentary procedure. So damn boring, and as Chad said, you could pick up on it after about 5 minutes of C-SPAN (by the way, just about everyone there was a huge news/C-SPAN buff….it was awesome). Then lunch. Then a discussion on global political stuff. It was all stuff I knew already, but it was still interesting conversation. Then we had a stupid leadership activity outside. Chad and I led each other around in blindfolds. Other stupid things. Then we met in our congressional committees and selected candidates for leadership positions in our mock Senate such as the clerk and President Pro-Tempore. We then had a pointless lecture about deaf people. I mean no disrespect to deaf people, but seriously the information was like about how the college was founded and deaf culture in general. Useless to us, and they could have just said, “If you’re disrespectful, you get kicked out. THE END.” Then we had a “leadership” activity which was taking a personality test. I’m an owl. Apparently the cautious, “genius-prone,” etc. Ridiculous. So basically I just liked Hook and the global stuff. I hate the way the Team Leaders (TLs) talk to us. They keep saying BE QUIET, OMG, RESPECT!! Give me a break, not to be arrogant, but getting invited to this was a huge honor. I was treated with more respect on mission trips.
There’s no way for this not so sound pompous but this is all stuff I know from AP Gov and History. On the positive side, I definitely feel like if I could study hard, I could work in this city. A policy advisor sounds cool. I don’t know about law school. Speech writing sounds cool. Research on jobs is in order. So in short, it overall sucks so far but I’ll try really hard not to judge it ‘til we’re done. Anyway the Smithsonian and National Archives are tomorrow so I think walking around there with Chad will be fun. I think a big thing I miss from home is talking to people online before bed. And also…graphpaper’s fine but I need to type. Also Chad and I are disgruntled at no internet access, no papers, no TV news. It’s a college but it’s like they’re oblivious to the ouside world or something.
July 18, 2004
4:28 pm
I woke up feeling very well-rested this morning. Ate breakfast with Chad. Then we met as a whole Congress for basically no reason. They told us we could leave our binders before our excursion, but hurry the hell up and OMG STOP TALKING. Jeez. We got on the buses and drove to the Smithsonian. Unfortunately, we were divided by party (Federalists and Nationalists – they stood for absolutely nothing) and Chad’s in the other party. I still found some cool people to walk around with, though. We went to the Natural History Museum first. Amazing fossils from 3500 million years ago, dinosaurs and cool mammals I’ve never seen before. Then were lots of cultural things of people from different continents. It was cool to think about how ancient the Earth is, but humanity came and built up what we have today in so little time. Then the National Archives, which was freaking awesome. I saw the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, Marbury v. Madison, the Articles of Confederation, and other cool original documents. The DoI was really faded – a lot more than I thought it was. The American History Museum wasn’t all I thought it would be, but it was still cool. I bought a book of Inaugural speeches from Cleveland through Bush and presents for Mom, Dad, Julie, and Kevin. I need a shower, news, and internet. Can’t get a hold of Chad. I’m realizing how a lot of people here are really liberal and hate Bush’s soul. Makes me realize I’m really not that liberal – I think he’s a good guy, I just disagree with some things. Anyway I better walk to our caucus. :P
10:17 pm
At 5 we had our caucus and decided on our candidates and then had dinner. Then the whole Congress got together and voted. Everyone in a position of power is from my committee, so that was cool (I didn’t run). After that we got in our committees. We split into thirds, and my third was the Arts and Humanities. We don’t meet as a whole Senate until the last day, so that sucks. Lectures are worthless and a lot are given by people not much older than I am. Well I’m off to read inaugural addresses. This sucks but I’m trying to meet cool people – and I am.
July 19, 2004
12:03 pm
Breakfast was silent without Chad. First morning lecture was more on global politics – we talked about how China is going to be the next economic superpower. Irrelevant to the Congress, but still interesting. Then we had a stupid lecture on problem-solving – THINK AND THEN ACT/SPEAK/WHATEVER. Wow, genius point. But I guess there are a lot of politicians who don’t do that (like Cheney dropping the F-bomb and Howard Dean screaming).
6:58 pm
After that I had lunch with Chad. Then we got “briefed” for our excursion (for every field trip we get a briefing). Sat around for half an hour waiting for the buses. Finally they came and we went to Arlington National Cemetary. It was really hot and we were walking fast (tight schedule). JFK’s tomb was nice, I really liked the eternal flame. The view was awesome. I know it might be silly but I almost felt like crying. Then we went to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and watched the changing of the guards. There were so many tombstones in that cemetery….it’s staggering to think of all the people who have given their lives for this country. It made me proud. I really liked the amphitheater there, too. Greek architecture is cool. We saw the Iwo Jima Memorial, which was a statute of the soldiers in WWII putting up the flag on top of a hill. Supposedly there are extra hands that represent God’s hands. Cool stuff. Also, I saw that actual flag at the Smithsonian – cool stuff. Then we went to Union Station. Very fast eating, and purchasing of newspapers and postcards. I want a shower, and we have to get up early tomorrow morning!
July 20, 2004
9:39 am
Today was an early morning. Last night the whores in the next room wouldn’t shut the hell up. I pounded on the wall with my fist and eventually fell asleep. In our committee meeting, I got everyone to support a bill to nationalize education but then our TL called us communists and shot us down. Instead we decided to make a bill to give a grant to schools to fund fine arts programs – drama, music, art. A lot of states have deficits and the first programs to be cut are school fine arts programs.
Anyway this morning I woke up, ate, and rode a bus to the White House. Our names were already on a list and apparently they did background checks on us. We only got to see the East Wing – cool but I’d obviously rather see the West Wing. Still, awesome. We couldn’t bring cameras, though. On our walk afterwards around the Ellipse, Chad and I were in front of people arguing. I actually miss my classmates back home. There are so many stupid people who think they know everything because they read something on the internet. It’s fine to be stupid – just don’t act like know-it-all jackass. Anyway we’re back now. My back hurts but I think I’ll read the paper now.
10:12 pm
Let’s see, after that we had a speaker who didn’t actually speak. She had us have a death penalty “debate.” But really we walked around the room and argued. I didn’t bother arguing because everyone was just screaming at each other. Ate lunch, had a stupid lecture on “what is a bill.” Seriously, WTF? We got briefed on the Capitol Hill trip, which sounds like it will be cool – there’s no way in hell Chad and I will be separated and we do whatever we want for about 6 hours. After that we had a committee meeting in which we actually wrote our bill. Dinner, then forced to either watch a movie or played games. WE played games and went outside – discussed politics – mostly Chad and Gina, who’s an awesome girl from California. One of many cool friends I made, but the ones I hung out with the most were Gina, Sarah, and Dustin. It seems like my political opinions change more every day. Maybe I don’t know what I believe or maybe people calling me a flaming liberal really was a big mistake. This trip has invoked a deep sense of pride in my country, though. Anyway I then helped my TL write cards with everyone’s congressional appointments on them. Today was good, if only to talk politics at the end. Maybe it’s ‘cause I found friends. Anyway I’m done now.
July 21, 2004
4:45 pm
So today – breakfast and then we boarded the house and went to Capitol Hill. We had an appointment with Feingold at 10. As we (me, Chad, and a girl from somewhere else in Wisconsin) were walking to the Senate office building, there was an evacuation. We later learned it was a fire alarm for some…thing. Anyway then we went to Feingold’s office. We just met with a staffer, but he was still a cool guy to talk to. I like Russ Feingold, he’s a good guy. Campaign finance reform, the only guy to vote against the Patriot Act (which I support 95% of, by the way – there are just some things that go too far), and he went to UW Madison (well, as well as Oxford, but you know….). After that Chad and I went to the House of Representatives Chambers and went to the gallery. We watched voting on a couple of issues and it was cool to see everyone walking around. It would have been cooler to see the Senate because we would have recognized more people, but it would’ve taken too long. After that we ate lunch in one of the offices and then we saw our Representative, who was really cool. We talked about how campaigning has gotten so personal, and politics shouldn’t be like that. You can disagree and still have dignity, yo. Partisanship is getting more and more stupid. After that we walked in front of the Supreme Court and the Library of Congress, but didn’t have enough time to go inside – just took pictures. It took forever to walk everywhere on Capitol Hill because there was a lot of construction. My feet hurt like a mother. I don’t want to take a shower ‘cause I don’t have clothes to waste. This program has made me realize how much I’m going to miss everyone when I go to college. It’s also made me realize how awesome the internet is – so easy to communicate with people. Anyway, no more for now.
10:18 pm
So I spent my free time cleaning my room, remaking my bed, and organizing everything. It makes me excited ‘cause I’m helping myself get ready to go home. I brought everything in one backpack and one suitcase, so go me! After dinner, Chad and I spent our free time mostly just talking. Then in our subcommittees – I’m growing to like them a lot. We finished our bill and presented it to the rest of our committee – they liked it. After that, I showered and here I am. At least I’m learning I can survive college life. Lack of Nazi regimes and being able to connect with my friends online would be preferable, though. I’m really lucky I have Chad, though. But I don’t think I’ll have a problem making friends.
July 22, 2004
10:16 pm
Breakfast, then a lobbyist talked to us. What I got out of it is that your Congressional (well, any for that matter) representatives don't know how to represent you unless you tell them. Also, VOTE. It doesn't matter for who - just vote. People died so you can do it and what, you're too lazy? Disgusting. VOTE. After that, another stupid "leadership" thing where we decided what to bring if we were on a deserted island. :P Lunch, then committee meetings in which we debated each others' bills. Dinner and then we boarded the buses to go see Memorials. The World War II Memorial was beautiful - the fountains and the magnitude were awesome. 2 girls were complaining about the rain and I was disgusted. You don't complain at a war memorial, whores. Get some dignity. My uncles brother-in-law fought at D-Day and he was shot twice. The Vietnam Memorial was mostly covered because they were fixing the lights or something, but it was still moving - especially to see metal bracelets left by soldiers next to the wall. My cousin-in-law fought in that war. The Korean Memorial was also cool - I'd already seen it, but still moving. My uncle fought in that war. After that was the Lincoln Memorial, which was frigging awesome. So massive. Jefferson owned, too. I love Jefferson. THe power of words that all of these men had was so amazing. It makes me want to cry. The use of words and oratory skills to describe humanity..it makes me want to cry. Anyway. On the walk to the FDR Memorial, I started feeling really..creeped out, especially as soon as I entered the FDR Memorial. Then I realized it was because I had been there before, on the mission trip I took right after my freshman year. I remember sitting by the water, talking about social justice. It was the first time I ever felt really passionately about anything in my life. I think about how far I've come in the last four years...and it is a long way. I'm who I want to be. Now I just want to learn more. More news, college, more reading. God has a purpose for me and I have yet to figure it out. But I'd like to be ready for when I do.
Looking at the monuments, I felt...fierce. The desire to say things like that - words that inspire people to want to be better - welled up inside. I feel very patriotic tonight.
July 23, 2004
10:10 pm
Breakfast and then committee meetings. We just practiced the speeches for patroning bills. Then we had a caucus, in which we passed all the bills after debating them. I voted based on my beliefs. Then lunch, then "alumni association" which is basically getting us to try to get a bunch more people to go to LeadAmerica - someone's making a buttload of money off the program. Then we had a blind guest speaker, who I guess was alright. Then we had our committee meetings. We were talking as a committee about why some of us didn't like their bill on hitting people harder for hiring illegal immigrants. The conversation spiraled to one about poverty and the like. It turned into this huge debate. And some guys were saying, "Well if I were homeless, I'd just get a job" and things like that. And....well, I completely flipped out. I think the reason in high school that I got a label as being a "flaming liberal" is because of my feelings regarding the poor. I don't care who the hell you are - you had better have respect and every person on the face of this earth have the dignity they deserve for simply being human. You cannot condemn others for situations that you have never been in. So, yeah. I laid the smack down. Soon after, everyone got quiet because we realized how mad we were. Then, or TL told us about her own background, and challenged us that if we could ever, ever help anyone - inspire anyone - help anyone in any way - DO IT. And after that, I got really quiet and I could feel myself spiraling down.
In four years, what has changed? I first encountered poverty 4 years ago. What has changed? All that I have changed is myself. There was one week of service in Milwaukee and that is it. I feel so sick. So disgusted with myself. What have I done to make the world better? I guess...that I can't make anything else better until I'm better. There's just...so much pain and suffering in this world. And I'm doing nothing to change it. I've been blessed with so much. And I haven't the slightest idea how to take everything that is me and do everything in my power to make the world better. Who do I ask? What can I do?
I've been so self-righteous lately. I'm so selfish. I'm so disgusting. And I don't know what to do next.
Then we had a "social." We played Monopoly, which was fun.
July 24, 2004
10:59 pm
On the last day, surrounding meals, we had one last committee, caucus, and then met as an entire Senate and debated a total of 12 bills. If you want to know what the bills were on, feel free to ask. Just know our education bill passed, as did two unconstitutional bills proposed by Chad's party. It was long, but fun. After that our committee met one last time....I'm really going to miss the friends I made, and our TL. Our TL was so....inspiring. I can only hope she knows how much she helped influence my life. The friends I made were really awesome people, and I hope I stay in touch with them. I have Gina's and Sarah's s/ns, and they gave us a directory of everyone's address/email/whatever so hopefully I will. Anyway, then we had a speaker. And this speaker probably influenced me....more than most people ever have. The following is the speech, rewritten by me based on notes that I took.
He told us that we are among the most privileged young people in all of human history. He told us that the philosopher Heidegger said that "We commit greater atrocities in our daily lives than the greatest atrocities against which we protest." Heidegger also said that only a god can save us now. There's no point in appealing to privileged youth - they're inconsiderate, impatient, and you can't ask them to change this world. Why not? Because we are the ones who commit the atrocities - we own so much material possessions that it's disgusting. Count your CDs, movies, TVs, cars, clothing, etc. Next, look at the way you treat your parents. The people who have loved you since birth - provided for you, held you, given you money, tried their best to protect you, and were hurt by you when you push them away because of your own selfishness. These are atrocities. When we treat people with unkind words for no reason other than thoughtlessness, these are atrocities. And if we cannot even rise up and be loving to the people we interact with daily, then how are we supposed to save our fellow man? How are we supposed to rise up and save those in need?
The world is a dangerous place not because of a lack of intelligence or skill or ideas. The problem is that groups constantly fail to appreciate other groups. We refuse to understand each other's burdens.
Our haircuts are the yearly salaries of some people. 250 million Indians live on less than 5 cents a day.
Patience, understanding, and gratitude need to become a part of our every-day lives. You must never pity yourself. There are people all over the world who work harder every day than you will work in your entire life, and they will never, ever have as much as you have now. What is our response? Is it guilt? Is it that the UN should do something? The government? Or, will we change the way in which we conduct ourselves? Turn your eyes to your own life. And make the right judgment. We are the most privileged people. And we must be the ones to change this world. A leader must not live by what other people will tolerate. A leader must rise to his or her own highest standard - beyond what people will simply tolerate and we must excel. You must excel so much that you put others in the position that they can see what you want them to see - the real person you are.
Heidegger says only a god can save us now. Once you find your confidence, give your confidence to others. Lift them up. Tell people what they mean to you. When we have that - when we do not commit atrocities in our daily lives - then we will change this world.
So I feel inspired now. To make this world better as I can. I still don't know what I'm going to do with my life. And contrary to what I wrote last night, the last four years have not been a waste. I have lifted people up. And I vow to do it more. I will help bring about change in this world and let it begin in me - my family, my friends, my sphere and let my sphere grow and grow and grow.
Today
So, here I am. Saying goodbye to everyone was hard - but I didn't cry. Woke up early, flew and met Chad's parents and Kristy, and then drove to hours home. And here I am. There are so many people I missed while I was gone....my family and my friends. I love so many people, and I am so blessed to have so much love in my life. I'm deeply....motivated to be the best I can be.
But still disheartened because I still haven't the slightest idea wtf that is. But like I said before....I just know I want to use everything that is me to do everything I can to make this world better. So, in a complete 180 turn of self-respect in the space of 24 hours, that is the end of my trip. I'm home, whores.