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in which jackie writes a songfic
I'm not sure how much I like this beast, but I'm posting it anyway.
So, I was listening to 'In the End' by Linkin Park last night, and decided to write this songfic. I know the song kinda got overplayed on the radio, but I still like it. If you feel like some of the song's missing, that's because it is. I don't like repeating the refrains or same verses in songfics because it gets redundant....(ie - i didn't know how else to play with the words)
This piece my seem obscure to you, and I'm afraid I may have been too cryptic for anyone else to know what I mean....but I know what I mean, and it's not like I write for anyone else, so I guess that doesn't matter. The capitalized It and You are the same thing, but the capitalized He is something entirely different - I'll let you guess who the two are, :P I have a pretty good idea who the 'you' is in the second-to-last stanza that are my words (mine are not italicized), but I'm not entirely sure. I don't even know where that stanza came from, it was like my pen just started moving and there it was. I pondered removing it and writing something else, but I like it, even though it doesn't really belong. Okay, enough babble.
All parts in italics are song lyrics and belong to Linkin Park. They're not my words, I just use them for inspiration.
(It starts with)
One thing/I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind/I designed this rhyme
to explain in due time
all I know
silently creeping in from the shadows
seeping through the cracks and holes
and tainting my heart black
It has no name, and It has no point,
and I don't know why It started
visiting in the first place
all i know is that It's here
and that It hurts
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
it's so unreal
all day long i know It's coming
and every night i feel It slinking closer.
sometimes It stays hidden in the shadows,
but usually It comes out
to toy with my feelings again
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on/but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
watch you go
always foolishly let other people
into the same place where It comes creeping
even though i know they'll make It darker.
but before people turn into darkness,
i cling to the light, clutching so hard that
i waste it while it's there
because all i know is that It'll hurt again
when the light dies out and it's black again
I kept everything inside and even though I tried/it all fell apart
What it meant to me/will eventually/be a memory/of a time when I tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end,
it doesn't even matter
I had to fall
to lose it all
but in the end,
it doesn't even matter
feelings used to mean something,
but now i'm just going numb
no matter what i do,
It will come
and make me dark inside
One thing/I don't know why
it doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind/I designed this rhyme
to remind myself how
I tried so hard
sometimes i worry
that one day i'll look back
and be disgusted by my weakness.
but i'm not weak - i can't stop this
and i'm writing so i won't forget
In spite of the way you were mocking me
acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
i feel You laughing
like You've won,
but You haven't.
one day i'll figure out
what You are and
we'll see who's laughing then
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
in the end
i've changed a lot, since You first came
like it's a brand new, bleeding me.
or maybe i was bleeding all along
and You just pointed it out
You kept everything inside and even though I tried/it all fell apart
What it meant to me/will eventually/be a memory/of a time when I tried so hard
you didn't care
you never did
you never knew
you never asked
but i still cried
when you were gone
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know....
i don't know what to do any more
after i've beat every demon of my past
and made myself who i want to be
(except the part of me that's You)
so i just thought i'd let it be known
that i've put it all in someone else's hands
because it's now that i realize
i can't beat you by myself
but that doesn't mean He won't help me
So, I was listening to 'In the End' by Linkin Park last night, and decided to write this songfic. I know the song kinda got overplayed on the radio, but I still like it. If you feel like some of the song's missing, that's because it is. I don't like repeating the refrains or same verses in songfics because it gets redundant....(ie - i didn't know how else to play with the words)
This piece my seem obscure to you, and I'm afraid I may have been too cryptic for anyone else to know what I mean....but I know what I mean, and it's not like I write for anyone else, so I guess that doesn't matter. The capitalized It and You are the same thing, but the capitalized He is something entirely different - I'll let you guess who the two are, :P I have a pretty good idea who the 'you' is in the second-to-last stanza that are my words (mine are not italicized), but I'm not entirely sure. I don't even know where that stanza came from, it was like my pen just started moving and there it was. I pondered removing it and writing something else, but I like it, even though it doesn't really belong. Okay, enough babble.
All parts in italics are song lyrics and belong to Linkin Park. They're not my words, I just use them for inspiration.
(It starts with)
One thing/I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind/I designed this rhyme
to explain in due time
all I know
silently creeping in from the shadows
seeping through the cracks and holes
and tainting my heart black
It has no name, and It has no point,
and I don't know why It started
visiting in the first place
all i know is that It's here
and that It hurts
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
it's so unreal
all day long i know It's coming
and every night i feel It slinking closer.
sometimes It stays hidden in the shadows,
but usually It comes out
to toy with my feelings again
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on/but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
watch you go
always foolishly let other people
into the same place where It comes creeping
even though i know they'll make It darker.
but before people turn into darkness,
i cling to the light, clutching so hard that
i waste it while it's there
because all i know is that It'll hurt again
when the light dies out and it's black again
I kept everything inside and even though I tried/it all fell apart
What it meant to me/will eventually/be a memory/of a time when I tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end,
it doesn't even matter
I had to fall
to lose it all
but in the end,
it doesn't even matter
feelings used to mean something,
but now i'm just going numb
no matter what i do,
It will come
and make me dark inside
One thing/I don't know why
it doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind/I designed this rhyme
to remind myself how
I tried so hard
sometimes i worry
that one day i'll look back
and be disgusted by my weakness.
but i'm not weak - i can't stop this
and i'm writing so i won't forget
In spite of the way you were mocking me
acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
i feel You laughing
like You've won,
but You haven't.
one day i'll figure out
what You are and
we'll see who's laughing then
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
in the end
i've changed a lot, since You first came
like it's a brand new, bleeding me.
or maybe i was bleeding all along
and You just pointed it out
You kept everything inside and even though I tried/it all fell apart
What it meant to me/will eventually/be a memory/of a time when I tried so hard
you didn't care
you never did
you never knew
you never asked
but i still cried
when you were gone
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know....
i don't know what to do any more
after i've beat every demon of my past
and made myself who i want to be
(except the part of me that's You)
so i just thought i'd let it be known
that i've put it all in someone else's hands
because it's now that i realize
i can't beat you by myself
but that doesn't mean He won't help me