Crap

[laceblade]

I wrote this last night in the midst of a bad mood and finished a couple minutes ago....I'll probably rewrite it when I'm in a bad mood again, I guess we'll see. You might recognize a line or two from other poems of mine. Mocking myself, I guesss.

There's nothing to be done any more.
Your words making me bleed
from the black and white ludicrousy of the paper
They're sneering at me.

What is friendship?
Bonds grown out of love and fellowship,
only to be severed by jealousy, deceit, disappointment, conceit,
It's disgusting.

All alone in the dark, she waits.
Hoping and praying,
yet knowing the truth and laughing.
Because all pain is ironically funny, you know?

Moods like this bring the blood
Not physically, but psychologically.
She was swimming in blood,
crying blood, sweating blood.
Saturating her body in her misery.

Darkness is absence of light
and this world is engulfed in it.
It seeps everywhere, just like the blood.

There is no fear, no lack of confidence.
Not fate, no enslavement.
Yet, no hope, no relenting,
no freedom.

The chains around my wrists again, chafing.
I can feel the blood flowing, only it isn't.
I don't know, I just know the pain
that makes me wince.

Nothing is of worth on this earth.
Everything eventually brings pain, misery, death.
Human fear is at fault, and it's present in everything.
It is at fault for everything.

I bide my time wishing and hoping
for trust, love, usefulness, to come my way.
But it never does. Not ever.
What if happy endings are a facade
created to assuage that ever-present human fear
that is always the demise of everything?