(no subject)

[laceblade]

I call it a poem mostly 'cause of the linebreaks. It's a form of expression and I don't know what else to call it.


I hate you all
I can't stand any of you
Mostly because when it starts screaming in my head
you all tell me to smile
be happy!
I want to slap you in the face.

I can't control this
and I don't know why I let people in
I don't know why I trust people
because it just stabs me inside
over and over and over again
I'm bleeding, raw from the wounds you inflicted
and you all tell me to frigging smile.

One person, one situation
can send me into the place
where there's screaming in my head
a red roaring behind my eyes
that would bring tears if I let it.
My face contorts and I look mad
but I'm really trying not to cry
and it's all because of one small thing
(or a big thing, it's a big thing,
I don't get upset over small things
it's broken hearts, broken promises,
broken bonds).

I try to fight it but nothing helps
the only way it goes away is when
I stop letting people in
but then I just get lonely
there is no happy medium
there is no cure
and there is no understanding from anyone
Smile, be happy!

I'm so sick of the fake conversations
and the fake smiles
and the fake relationships.
Who the hell really cares about me?
I can't even answer that any more.
I don't know if I want to know.

I want to curl up and be borne up
and fly away
and let someone heal my wounds
and breathe life into my soul.
I wonder if my wings would work.
Probably not.
They're probably broken too.

Little crying girl with curly hair,
rubbing one eye with a grubby fist.
She's been beaten
and they're screaming at her
and she just cowers in the corner
waiting for someone to come
and kiss and make it better.