me dead again

[laceblade]

This isn't even good mostly because I'm not in the greatest of states right now. It's mostly a stream of consciousness. But it's something.

"broken heart"

It's cold, this time.
But mostly, just nausea
churning, spinning
in my stomach

Icy, sharp blades
piercing the surface of my heart
again and again
and again
and I can't take it any more

I can't take this pain again
not again
niaga reven
why does this keep happening?
why can't i stop it?
why am i so stupid?

i can't keep going this time
my uncried tears
are like crystalized knives inside....
scraping against the inside of my heart
and making me constantly bleed

i just can't believe
i'm so stupid
every time
i never learn
and i never really heal, either

tattered, bloody pieces
that hang together by God knows what
that's my heart

i don't understand
if they just don't realize
what they're doing to me
or if they really truly just don't care
i'd really rather not know