Twilight

[laceblade]

Continuing from yesterday....I don't even know how to put into words how heinous this book is. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. I will let it speak for itself. I do not LJ-cut because these aren't really spoilers. AND BECAUSE THE WORLD MUST KNOW.

He turned then, with a mocking smile, and I stifled a gasp. His white shirt was sleeveless, and he wore it unbuttoned, so that the smooth white skin of his throat flowed uninterrupted over the marble countours of his chest, his perfect musculature no longer merely hinted at behind concealing cloths. He was too perfect, I realized with a piercing stab of despair. There was no way this godlike creature could be meant for me.

Is that enough?! Do you believe me now? Let me find a better one!

"I miss you," I whispered.
"I know, Bella. Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self away with you."
"Come and get it, then," I challenged.
"Soon, as soon as I possibly can. I will make you safe first." His voice was hard.
"I love you," I reminded him.
"Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through, I love you, too?"
"Yes, I can, actually."

I SHUDDER WITH DESPAIR FROM THIS AWFUL WRITING.

BUT I STILL CAN'T STOP READING.

Thank God I only have 60 pages left. I'm finding the build-up to the climax shockingly (?) boring.

Comments

[carabbit.livejournal.com]

His voice was hard.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

....


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

[snowystingray.livejournal.com]

Anybody who knows me knows that I have a penchant for the epically bad. The badder, the better. I even have an lj tag designation for "testament to my bad taste in everything." And yet ughhhh okay, I haven't actually read Twilight, but I think I've heard enough about it to where it is so bad that it goes beyond so-bad-that-it's-good and loops back to so-bad-that-it's-just-really-really-atrociously-bad. I think it's also a significant portion sour grapes over howww the hell is she published?? that makes me hate it even more.

[sasha-feather.livejournal.com]

Agreed!!! I think I was too forgiving of these books when I read them. Now I kind of hate myself for liking them.

Plus, Bella's stupid lack of characterization and any feelings of self-worth. Ugh.

[circularroom.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!!!!
why? because it's great. I think you have to keep in mind that this was written for a 10 to 14 year-old audience of desperate, looking-for-love-in-all-the-wrong-places emo teens. I LOVED this shit when I was 12. and seeing as how I'm still 12, I still love this shit ;)

I'm really amused that you're still reading it :p

[hederahelix.livejournal.com]

You know how sometimes a turn of phrase just strikes you the wrong way, and you end up with a totally different interpretation than what the author intended? that line about "concealing cloths" made me envision vamp dude sort of mummified in a series of cloth diapers and tea towels.

I doubt that that was precisely what the author meant to say, but I've got to tell you--the summaries I've heard of the novel were enough to dissuade me from reading. Your reviews aren't helping. But the image of the romantic lead guy as a cloth monster covered in spit up and kitchen stains? Really, really not making me inclined to read. (Not that this was a major goal of mine. I just thought you'd also get a kick out of the image, you know?)

[littlebutfierce]

Why are you hating??? I love this book!

Hahahaha, not really. I thought it was garbage, & I am so shocked at how many people love it (not even in the "this is crap but can't stop reading" sort of way)!!!

The kicker for me, in addition to all the other annoying stuff, was that it was just another tiresome vampire novel in which everyone is so ethereally pretty (& mostly white, too--although I've heard some discussion about her treatment of Native teens in later books, which seems to indicate she does at least something positive). Which... YAWN. Ethereally pretty people? Are boring as shit. In fiction & in real life.

[takumashii.livejournal.com]

My high-school-acquaintance cesario did a YA vampire novel contest inspired by the badness of Twilight! I attempted to participate but it was during Wiscon and my brilliant plan would've worked if I hadn't been too sick on the plane home to write.

My favorite part was (in the 3rd book) when Bella was trying to go see Jacob and Edward was all, "No, that's dangerous, you can't go see him" and Bella tried to go see him anyway so--

Edward sabotaged her car.

And she was briefly mad in a fiesty sort of way but then she got over it and then I threw the book against the wall except not literally because it's a library book.

(As a librarian I feel some obligation to read all the popular teen books. They paid me enough to start Eclipse, but not enough to finish it...)

[skadi.livejournal.com]

Haha! Please keep posting these. It is terribly, terribly amusing.